whole parenting  family

Is your friend a blogger? Do you even know what the heck she’s doing on her blog//online diary? Because it’s really an online diary where she talks about her kids’ poopy diapers, right?

I had no idea what a blog was before I started blogging, and heck, even well into the blogging, four years ago. I truly thought it was like a few ladies talking about either their traumatic recoveries from birth, or their kids’ poop.

Now I’m sure my friends who don’t read my blog think the same of me: poop & birth stories. And, my friends who do, know this is the case.

If you are a blogger, and your friend is a blogger, and your blog is smaller than hers, how can you support her? If you are a blogger and your friend is a blogger, and your blog readership is bigger than hers, how can you support her?

I think the answer to all three scenarios: you’re a normal non-blogger, you’re a small-time blogger, or you’re a big-time blogger.

1) Subscribe to the blog.

Even if you don’t always read it, or heck, never read it. You’re helping her “numbers” and being supportive. That’s awesome of you. My first non-family subscriber four years ago was a good family friend, single dude, early thirties, who by no means wanted to read my blog. I’m pretty sure he’s never unsubscribed. And pretty sure he’s never read it. I almost cried for appreciation. (weird? yeah, I’m a blogger)

2) Follow her on social media.

Again, she can blog about culinary skillz you neither possess or are interested in mastering, but just following her on Facebook, twitter, or instagram can similarly help her get more readers, and touch lives that may really want and need to be connected with someone who has her particular perspective, be it mothering or  designing bathrooms.

There’s a little thrill that runs through the heart of every blogger when their “likes” and “follower” numbers tick up. No, this isn’t hubris. It’s being affirmed. And feeling like you putting yourself out there to 7 billion people isn’t all for naught.

3) Enter her giveaways.

But Nell, I don’t want to win it. But gentle reader, again, this helps support her in the eyes of the company or person sponsoring the giveaway. If they see interest in the product, they’re more likely to work with her or her friends she refers to them, again. Also, it will make her feel cosy inside that you cared.

4) Comment periodically.

If you read blogs on your phone like most of us, it can be a real pain in the butt to comment. You have to go through these hoops and steps. But every comment matters. Even if it’s just “hey, I loved this.” I know big bloggers read their comments, and little bloggers read our comments. It means a lot a lot.

When I shared that I’d discovered inadvertently that someone thought I was a vapid shallow idiot (on the internet, to clarify for those who feel that way in real life), and I blogged about it to defend my shredded lil heart, you guys came out in droves to comment. My favorite history teach from high school commented. My favorite southern belle girlfriend commented. My siblings either commented or texted me. Or called me and told me the internet was dumb :)

5) Tell your friends//fellow bloggers.

You may not like the blog, or really read the blog, but share about it on Facebook or forward it via email occasionally if you feel so moved. Again, someone else might just really need to hear those affirming words that they’re not alone, drowning in dirty laundry, or a great fashion tip with their wardrobe from the 90’s. Don’t knock my leg warmers. Again, Facebook has weird algorithms and if you share from the blog’s page to your own, it may magically boost the viewers it actually shows that page to!

6) Put them on your blog roll.

You’d be surprised how many times I see people have clicked over to me from someone’s blogroll (list of blogs they read on their own blog), and happily how many more times people click from my blog to my friends. It’s a small way of sharing readers and traffic. And a really nice way for me to find new blogs!

7) Do not trash talk.

If you don’t like someone’s blog, or post, or perspective. especially if you are a fellow blogger: do not trash talk on social media.

Friends!! This one hurts my heart so much. I hate seeing the passive aggressive comments darted toward other bloggers. I hate seeing the criticisms and in-fighting. It is not nice. It is not okay. Do not say something on social media you wouldn’t say to their face. If you’re that combative and you would go at them personally in person, okay, I guess that’s just who you are and yikes! But we all tend to hide behind our social media shield. Please, it’s ugly and unnecessary.

8) If they have affiliated links, click through.

Again, so say your blogger friend is trying to or successfully making a little money off her blog. Perhaps she has an amazon box–go click on there to buy whatever you were going to on amazon that day. It helps her. Say she’s advertising deodorant. Click on the links in the body of her post. Even if you don’t wear it (me!) or don’t like that brand. Why?

Because it shows the company that she has readers who care, and she may get a penny or seven per click. You’re helping her out. And good for her for having an opportunity to make a little moolah or so on the side. She works as hard as we all do on writing and up keeping these blogs. It’s a little something we can do to say thanks for writing.

9) Never offer unsolicited advice.

You may feel tempted, as we all do, to share your unsolicited advice about the design, content, actions of a fellow blogger. Ironically, despite her writing to 7 billion people, she and all of us do not cotton to unsolicited advice. You may have the best of intentions, but let’s be real. In real life, you wouldn’t want someone telling you how to design, write, edit, parent, cook, clean, or run your life. Unless you asked for it or have a relationship (close) with that person.

So we should all keep our lips zipped. Which for me is hard because I LOVE offering my version of insights. Well, I’ve learned to keep it to my blog post and then people can read or see it there and either follow or laugh at! I wrote tips for a better blog after my visit to the Hundred Event.

10) You don’t have time for any of this.

You’re a working mom who hardly has time to bathe the kiddos before the long kiss of death bedtime ensues. I get it. Totally. Don’t worry about it. Just know these are the kinds of things that run through bloggers heads that they appreciate and love and when you have a few seconds, and you know your friend could use the boost, do one or two.

11) Is this all about ego?

I talk about this a lot with my blogger friends. The pull back and forth of whether or not we are just egomaniacs. Why do we blog? I think I know why I do, but everyone’s reasons are different. At the end of the day, it’s about connecting. And affirmation. Two things women usually really truly need and deeply desire. Maybe you can write us bloggers all off as just total narcissists, but I have met lots of them and I don’t think that’s the case. You decide, ultimately!

12) Enjoy it.

I’m in a season of life where I blog several times a week, am thrilled to be able to reach out to a company and say, will you give this to my readers for free or at a discount??, but this won’t always be the case. We’ll probably have more children and with homeschooling and then feeding all of them homemade food for the most part, and sewing things for them, I will probably not do this forever. I love it now. I love my friends from it. I love talking and connecting with you. Thank you for being here.

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43 Responses to 12 ways to support your blogger friend

  1. Bonnie says:

    Yes! It’s amazing how the littlest likes, shares, comments – how those little acts of appreciation help my heart. I know we probably seem egotistical but really I often feel pretty vulnerable and even alone when I show my heart to the world on my blog.

    This is a great little list, Nell. In fact, I think I’ll share it. :)

  2. Love this, Nell! p.s. I’m totally sharing this :-D

  3. Kara says:

    This is really encouraging. I’ve taken a step back from blogging to reconsider my motovations. I’m such (SUCH) an extrovert and negativity sends me spinning. All of this you’ve said is really insightful about how to navigate the complexities of blogging relationships… especially with real life interactions. Other bloggers kinda get it, but the real life friends can be pretty harsh. Probably not all their fault. Good words today, Nell!

  4. Susanna says:

    Yes to them all! I really need to update my blog roll. :)

  5. veronica says:

    True charity amongst bloggers! Great! :)

  6. jackie says:

    Great points! I couldn’t agree more.

  7. This is great Nell, especially the part about affiliate links. It’s free! But, ya know, I don’t mind unsolicited advice. I’ve gotten emails a number of times about things I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Things like, “hey, you’ve got captcha on. Captch is the devil.” Or, “I’ve been reading your blog for a year and just thought you might want to know that your font is pretty much unreadable.”

    Now, do I get a warm fuzzy feeling reading constructive criticism? No. But if someone sees a way I could improve my blog, I think it’s a courtesy to let me know. I can choose to disregard it, and sometimes I do, but then the second or third time I hear it, I fix it. :0)

    I appreciate it when people contact me privately via message or email rather than leaving a comment if they have a suggestion, but I don’t mind them speaking their mind. Especially if it means they’ll stick around and keep reading and clicking on affiliate links.

    • I agree. I’m fine if someone offers some sort of constructive criticism. Especially if it’s something easy to change like “the font is too small” or “the pictures go outside the margins” or “you misspelled this word”, etc. I don’t even really mind if someone disagrees wtih me as long as they do so nicely and respectufully. I think it’s good to have my thinking challeneged a bit.

      • Natural Mama Nell says:

        I agree if it’s done in a tasteful helpful humble way. So often we’re tempted to impose our taste or inclinations on others and maybe they don’t want to hear it because they’re sensitive to criticism or they really don’t want to know. HAHAH on your spellllllleng!

    • Natural Mama Nell says:

      Blog help is nice–but no one would like to hear personal criticisms, that’s more what I was tending toward. I think people might think because I blog about my life, I want their opinion on our choice not to circumcise, but I actually don’t :)

  8. Nancy says:

    Thank for writing this, Nell! You do such an incredible job of supporting others in all of these ways, and it really does make such a difference! Thank you, and I’m going to make a point to do all

  9. Michele says:

    This is fantastic, Nell! Thanks for making me feel normal. ;-)

  10. You’re quite good at this :) Thanks again for all your help!

  11. Amanda says:

    I love this and love it even more because it’s so true to your incredibly wonderful and thoughtful self. Thank you for this list, I learned quite a bit and will be sharing! :)

  12. Laurel says:

    Nell, you are awesome. And you don’t just preach it; you live it. Thanks for being such a great support!

  13. Elise says:

    I just love this, Nell. Thank you!

  14. keenforgod says:

    Very good advice. Thanks for sharing. It’s also a blessing to find Catholic parents who are bloggers. If you could recommend others whom I should follow, I would appreciate it! May God richly bless you family.

  15. Erica Saint says:

    Love, love , love this list! :)

  16. […] From Whole Parenting Family: 12 ways to support your blogger friend […]

  17. christina says:

    Thanks for this list Nell! I am new to blogging, started this year, and I love the connections I have made. I find so much inspiration when reading about everyone’s God-given talents that are displayed through blogging. I am a naturally positive person, so I don’t dwell on the ego/snark thing. I think the ego/snark shows up and usually makes the blog less enjoyable for me at least. I am hoping to be more brave in my writing as time goes on, but I am in that season of 6 kiddos from 14-1 and it is crazy, busy. I am really hoping to link up my meals very soon!

  18. Such great points!!! Wonderful post! Thank you!

  19. Ashley says:

    I finally caught up on my blog reading this weekend and I’m so glad I did – this post is SO good! You’ve inspired me to be a more active part of the blogging community. I know how much those little actions mean to me! Can’t wait to comment, click and enter! :)

  20. I love this, and it’s all so true! My heart always skips a beat when my non blogging friends comment/share my post!

  21. From a small-time blogger, I love this list & your blog! Thanks so much!

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