I’m sleep deprived.
Yeah, that’s nothing new.
I don’t feel great.
Well, again, three kids in, this is no surprise. I’m not pregnant so no matter how badly I feel because of broken sleep, little alone time, next to zero exercise time, I’m not throwing up.
Well, even though my little nursling turned into a weanling, and then back into my longest nursing tot, my hormones feel really stabilized and I can’t blame them.
I’m scanning my mind for an excuse. Any semi-palpable reason for being not nice.
It’s habit, really, that’s what I’m finding. As I’m about to preface my short remark, my cross look, with a “I’m _____” and then come up truly short. Without a distinguished cause. Just simply because I’m used to complaining and not being NICE.
In reality, my days are so easy and delightful. SweetPea is almost 4 (in April, our shared birthday) and BabyLoves is 20 months and finally starting to say words you can understand and they both still nap 2 hours a day. And SuperBoy? He’s easy going, five and a half, and loves to read, play with his legos, listen to his Jim Weiss (today all about ancient Egypt), and hardly has those knock-down drag-out tantrums he was prone to a few years back. They’re all healthy. They all love to eat and easily poop. I can put all three to bed at night if need be and they can actually clean up after themselves a bit.
So this reaching for an excuse? It’s me not wanting to . . . what’s that made-up word circulating social media? “adulting” . . . I don’t always feel like adulting. I want to indulge myself and my interests beyond what’s healthy and necessary for a mom of little kids. I just want to eat ice cream and scroll the internet or sew!!
To name it is to tame it, right? I hope you aren’t in a place where you’re either a) out of excuses like me or b) the kind of person who longs for them to be less . . . adulting. But I’m okay with publicly saying this is a habit to break. No excuses. Just be nice, Nell!
My friend Lis started a website called Catholic Mommy Blogs where she has brought together a wonderful community of writers. She’s compiling a montage of the answer, why do you Catholic Mommy Blog? My answer is of COURSE: community!